Post by Ayen on Jul 17, 2012 16:49:16 GMT
Here we are ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to this week’s edition of RAW is WAR! Apologies for the delay in this edition going out to air, but here it comes – the crowd have been waiting all week, everyone is in their seats and now let’s begin the show!
**No Chance In Hell Plays over the sound system, and the Chairman wanders down to the ring, with a very non-committal face on him.
.:McMahon:.
“As you all know, last week, Edge became the new no 1 contender for the WWE Title when he defeated X-Pac.
However, I regret to inform you that as of a few days ago, Edge has been RELEASED from his contract! The reasons for this are private and personal, but I thought I should let you know that Edge will NOT be participating for any WWE titles.
That not withstanding however, tonight there will be a match to determine the new no 1 contender for CM Punk’s WWE title. I have been watching video footage of our last few shows, and I have selected the 2 participants.
The first man in the match is a guy who was on a real losing streak until he ditched his partner in favour of going solo. Since he has done this he has been undefeated, and you – the fans – have been getting behind him 100%. Ladies and gentlemen, your first participant is none other than the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!"
*The crowd goes wild at this announcement*
The second individual in this match is one of the most handsome, charismatic, popular, athletic individuals ever to walk this green earth. He was THE man who created what is known as the American Dream – it is down to him that this whole place exists in the first place dammit! He is one virile SOB.
*The crowd are booing now – they know what’s coming*
Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, that is right – HBK’s opponent tonight will be none other than MYSELF – VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON! And let me tell you something……(Vince is interrupted as he can’t be heard above the boos)……I’m gonna kick Shawn’s backside from here to kingdom come and go on to become the NEW WWE Champion!
Thank you, and enjoy tonight’s show!”
*McMahon struts backstage, and the crowd can’t believe the arrogance of this guy*
*Kevin Mask’s music hits the tron, and he walks down to the ring, shaking the earth as he does so – this guy is huge! He walks over the top rope and into the ring, and now we’re just awaiting his opponent. The “Samoa Joe” chants are going, as Joe’s music hits! The crowd are on their feet as Samoa Joe comes down the ramp and into the ring, the bell rings and away we go!*
Samoa Joe vs Kevin Mask
The match starts with a huge boot to the face by Mask, sending Joe straight down to his back. Mask immediately goes to pick Joe up, before lifting him high above his head and throwing him back down to the mat. Mask has taken immediate control, very early on in the match.
Joe struggles back to his feet and is Irish Whipped off the ropes, and Mask goes for another boot but Joe ducks it. Joe hits the opposite ropes and goes for a shoulder barge, but Mask barely moves. Joe goes off the ropes and attempts another one, and Mask is a little shaky but still stays on his feet. Joe goes for a third, but Mask catches him mid-air! Mask lifts Joe high above his head and hits a Gorilla Press – that had to hurt! Joe fell some 8 feet, face first into the mat!
Mask is already giving the signal! He picks Joe up and he is gonna go for the Big Ben Bash! Joe wriggles out of it though, before pushing Mask chest first into the turnbuckles! Mask looks as though he may have bruised something there when trying to cushion the impact – he looks a little winded!
Mask turns around and Joe begins to hit a series of Roundhouse Punches – it’s a good thing Joe is fairly tall – most men couldn’t reach that high! Joe hits the 6th punch, and once again Mask is struggling to stay on his feet! Joe bounces off the ropes again, and THIS time the shoulder barge takes Kevin off his feet! The crowd are giving some nice pops to Joe for that one, as he hits a legdrop then a Gorilla splash. The ref goes down to count…1….2….but Mask kicks out fairly easily.
Joe picks Mask up off his feet, and gets him on his shoulders – the strength is amazing, that’s a 300-plus pound man he is carrying! Joe spins round, and lands Mask with a Fireman’s Spinning Carry. Mask lands on his feet but is stumbling all over the place…..and Joe hits a nice Back Kick, sending Mask back to the mat. Joe looks at the crowd, who begin to cheer – they know what’s coming!
Joe sets Mask up, and hits a beautifully executed Island Driver! He goes for the cover….1….2….3! He got it!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER: SAMOA JOE
Nice match there, but Joe showed great resiliency to overcome the height difference there – nice work Samoa Joe!
*camera goes backstage, to the Rock*
.:The Rock:.
”Kurt Angle, you say that you're the only Olympic gold medalist in the WWE, well the Rock says it's not that hard to win the special Olympics. "MY NAMES KURT ANGLE AND I'M GONNA DRINK A BIG GLASS OF MILK, EAT SOME CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES, AND MAYBE TAKE THREE VIAGRA". Well, the Rock says that you can find all of the cookies, Viagra, and milk that you can find...turn those sum*****es sideways, and stick them STRAIGHT UP YOUR CANDY A$$!!! IF YA SMEEEEELLLLLLLEEEELLLEELLLLLEELLLELLLLLEEEEL......WHAT THE ROCK...is cookin'! *does peoples eyebrow*....
::Camera turns to Kurt Angle who is standing beside the Rock smiling::
.:Kurt Angle:.
"And this is exactly why you are the peoples...chimpanzee. Real orignal you hack job comedian, if I can recall isnt that what you said several years ago. What's wrong Rock, can't come up with new material, or is the Movie Buisness called you back. Speaking of the Movie Buisnes thats exactly were you should be, because you are nothing more than a tweaky little fad that McMahon soley relys on to give the crowd a laugh. So How bout you shine those cookies real good, and stick them down you throught and when they come out of your ass, I'll be right there to kick em back in. I am the only olympic medalist in the WWE there is no one who can compare to me, Rock have you one a gold medal with a broken freakin neck..No. The only thing you've done is make several low budget peices of crap movies. So I'm going to go now, so you can talk to yourself...or the Millions and Millions of you red neck, arragont vile fans. (as he leaves) GOT MILK?”
The camera turns to The Rock, who is just looking on at Angle trying to control his temper.
*ICP’s music hits the trons, and the tag team champions come down to the ring – the heat they are getting makes hell look like a winter retreat! The fans just can’t forgive these guys for selling out and allying themselves with the Chairman. They get into the ring, gesturing to the fans that says “We don’t care!”
X-Pac’s music hits, and he bounces around playing to the adoring crowd! He walks down to ringside, and awaits his tag-team partner for tonight – X-Factor’s newest member, Assassin! The music hits and the hooded one comes down the aisle slowly, and enters the ring with X-Pac. For those of you who don’t know, this match will be a non-title match whereby if X-Factor win, they get a title match. If they don’t win, they must face each other next week and the loser is fired! The bell rings, and away we go!*
Non-Title Match: Insane Clown Posse vs X-Factor (X-Pac & Assassin)
Assassin and Shaggy start off the match. Shaggy runs towards Assassin who hits a nice armdrag, which he follows up with an attempted seated dropkick to Shaggy, who rolls out of the way. Shaggy gets up and goes for a shoulder barge, but Assassin ducks and takes Shaggy down with a Russian Ankle Sweep. Shaggy jumps straight back up, and hits a nice armdrag in return on Assassin. The pair both get to their feet and have a staredown, which always gets a good reaction from the crowd.
Shaggy walks backwards, and tags in Violent J. J enters, and Assassin runs straight over, choking J out at the turnbuckle…..the ref is counting…1…2….3….4..Assassin breaks the chokehold, with J struggling for breath. Assassin grabs the back of J’s head and hits a running bulldog, before Assassin gets straight back up and tags in X-Pac.
Pac gets in and hits a running dropkick on J, before hitting another on Shaggy who has decided to step in and help. X-Pac is going completely nuts on ICP! He is playing to the crowd who are going nuts for it! The cheers quickly turn to boos however, and the camera moves around and we see Mr McMahon strutting down to the ring. He gets to ringside and holds his hands up, as if to say “Keep going, I’m only observing”……yeah right…..
X-Pac turns back around and gets a violent headbutt from Violent J, who is the legal man. J holds Pac’s head, and runs him over and hits the ten turnbuckle smashes, sending X-Pac flying backwards onto the mat. J gets to the top and hits a flying elbow drop, connecting perfectly. He taunts at Assassin, who tries to get into the ring. The ref runs over and stops Assassin getting in however, and all the while Shaggy has come in and ICP are double teaming X-Pac!
They go to Irish Whip X-Pac into the opposite corner, and he is sent flying into the ref and Assassin! The ref is out cold, and Assassin has just been sent from the apron down to the mat, and he isn’t moving either! McMahon enters the ring, and begins stomping X-Pac, while ICP are laughing, egging the Chairman on. He picks Pac up and throws him across the ring by pulling the hair, over towards ICP.
ICP pick X-Pac up, and are holding him, whilst McMahon has got some Brass Knucks out of his trousers! He puts a set on each hand, and runs towards X-Pac! He’s gonna go for a double punch using the knucks!
PAC DUCKED! McMahon has hit ICP with the brass knucks! The crowd are loving it, but McMahon looks on in horror, before turning around and getting hit with a Bronco Buster!
Assassin has climbed to the rop, and hit a large top-rope splash, and X-Pac covers both ICP members! Assassin slaps the ref and throws him towards the cover…..1…………..2…………….3!! X-Factor did it!!
HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS, AND NEW TAG TEAM NO 1 CONTENDERS: X-FACTOR!
Nice teamwork from Assassin and X-Pac there, and they have successfully defeated the tag team champs! What’s more, that Bronco Buster than X-Pac hit has laid the chairman out cold, and his match is next!
*Shawn Michael’s music hits, and he appears at the top of the ramp, laughing his head off! He walks down, past ICP who don’t seem to know where they are! He shakes hands with X-Factor who are also walking backstage, and they look into the ring laughing at Mr. McMahon, who is only now starting to regain consciousness. HBK gets into the ring, and the bell rings!*
No 1 Contender’s Match – WWE Title: Shawn Michaels vs Mr. McMahon
Shawn gets to his knees and is looking over Mr. McMahon, who is still dazed from the Bronco Buster that X-Pac hit! McMahon looks up and realises that his opponent, HBK, is facing him, and McMahon’s face is a picture – he’s pretty scared now!
Shawn hits a knee drop to McMahon’s face, followed by an elbow drop, a legdrop, and a splash! That, my friends, is known as the “Welcome to New York City” – a trademark of the great Jack Bruce!
Shawn is dancing and prancing around the ring, playing to the crowd. He is gonna go for it! He’s gonna tune up the band already!
McMahon uses the ropes to help him get to his feet, and he turns around and eats some Sweet Chin Music! HBK goes for the cover….1….2…..3! I can’t believe it – Shawn beats the Chairman in record time!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND NEW NO 1 CONTENDER: SHAWN MICHAELS
Wow – that match lasted a matter of seconds! I’ll bet McMahon won’t be too pleased when he realises just how things went down there! Shawn is now walking backstage, the crowd clamouring to get a handshake from the new no 1 contender!
A camera fades in to show Assassin standing backstage, with a microphone in his hand.
.:Assassin:.
"Kurt Angle." He began. "Since you got here all you've been doing is saying "I won a gold medal with a broken freakin' neck, blah blah blah! Do you really think anyone gives a damn about something you did 10 YEARS AGO?!? This is now, Kurt. What have you done since arriving here? Nothing! That's because you're nothing, Kurt! Oh... Wait a second..."
*Assassin's phone rings*
"Oho, Kurt, it's Nothing, he says he knows you! You guys should get together sometime!"
Assassin abruptly cancelled his call and looked to his left.
"Well well well, what can I do for you?" He said.
The Camera fades on Kurt Angle who is standing on the left of Assasian
::Angle gives Assasian a pissed off look::
.:Kurt Angle:.
" Real Original you Samurai Jack Wannabee. The past eh, in the past I've done more in my past than you will do in your career, keep that in mind. I told XPac the same thing, Assasian you just started a battle you can't win. If you weren't booked for tonight I would've broke your ankle...Wait, I can do that right now...
:: Trips down Assasian and snaps in the ankle lock, as he won't let go...until several officials restrain Angle and pull him back::
Assassin stood up a little while after Kurt Angle had been restrained by officials, and hobbled over to a nearby wall to support his weight.
.:Assassin:.
"Angle! You'll pay for that! As soon as X-Pac and I destroy the ICP in two nights time and then go on to win the WWE Tag Team Titles I'll get even with you! In fact, No Mercy would be a great idea, as that's exactly what I'll show you when we meet in the ring!"
Assassin disappeared from the view of the camera.
"Hmph, Samurai Jack... I was just about to get changed, damn it!"
Xpac Walks in the room
.:Xpac:.
hey Assasin, don’t worry Kurt’s just jealous because he isnt GOOD enough to join our squad…..
Camera fades back to the arena
*Batista’s music hits to little reaction from the crowd, though some boos can be heard – the rumour that he has joined up with ICP hasn’t yet been confirmed, and the crowd don’t really know how to react!
Next up, Raiden-XTM’s music hits, and he gets a nice, but mixed, reaction from the crowd. The challengers are now in the ring, when the music of the Intercontinental Champion – GAWD, hits, and he comes down the aisle and into the ring. The bell rings, and away we go!*
Intercontinental Championship – GAWD! (c) vs Raiden-XTM vs Batista
The match starts off with all 3 competitors staring each other down, before GAWD and Raiden simultaneously go for Batista – GAWD laying a few punches right between Batista’s eyes, and Raiden hitting a few kicks all over Batista’s body. They bounce him off the ropes and hit a double clothesline, before Raiden turns on GAWD and begins attacking him. He forces GAWD back into the corner, before hitting the repeated kneelifts to GAWD’s midriff. He whips GWAD to the opposite ropes, and runs to follow him but Batista intercepts with a huge clothesline on Raiden.
Batista then hits an avalanche shoulder barge on GAWD who is still in the corner, before turning him around and hits a turnbuckle smash. Batista is in control, and he hits a double clothesline onto GAWD and Raiden-X!
Batista waits until his opponents stand up, before attempting to hit another clothesline, this time knocking both opponents out of the ring presumably. GAWD and Raiden duck, and back-bodydrop Batista high over the ropes, and through the announcer’s table on the outside! Batista is out cold, while Raiden and the champ begin to trade blows in the middle of the ring. GAWD gets the upper hand, and locks Raiden-X in a cross-body lock.
Raiden throws GAWD over his body, sending the champion to the mat. Nice reversal there by Raiden! Raiden attempts the leg/headlock, but GAWD simply rolls out of it before Raiden could get it locked in.
GAWD is on his feet first, and hits a seated neck-plant on Raiden, sending shockwaves down Raiden’s spine! GAWD goes to the outside to taunt Batista, and when he turns around he picks up the IC belt! What is he doing here!
He enters the ring and raises the belt above his head! He’s gonna use the champ’s advantage – he’s going to get himself disqualified! The ref gets in the way though, and is telling GAWD to get rid of the belt! The pair are arguind, but Raiden comes up behind GAWD and hits a low blow! The ref didn’t see it as he was focused on the IC belt!
GAWD falls to the mat, and Raiden-X goes for the cover, and he has a handful of tights as well! 1…..2…….3! HE DID IT! WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER, AND THE NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: RAIDEN-X!
Wow! We have seen a new IC champion crowned here, and whilst a lot of people won’t agree with Raiden-X’s tactics, you have to admire the opportunism!
::Kurt appears on the Titron::
.:Kurt Angle:.
" Jealous? X-factor you picked a fight with Wrestling Machine. You had a chance to be the most dominant squad in Sports History, and all you had to do was name it Team Angle. But it seems XPacs arrogance got in the way. And as for you Assasian, No Mercy would be a great time to kick your a**.
Kurt fades from the tron, with the crowd giving him a lot of heat.
***The scene opens with the camera zooming in on McMahon's office, the door opens, we see supossedly retired WWE Superstar Edge walking out with a smirk on his face, he mutters to himself***
.:Edge:.
I just couldn't resist this business for too long...
McMahon just looks up, and is aghast to see Edge - the man he released just a few hours previous - standing right in front of him*
.:McMahon:.
"Edge, may I ask what the HELL you are doing here?!"
*McMahons eyebrows raise, looking almost intimidated*
.:Edge:.
Well you see Vinnie, after thinking long and hard I wanna return to the WWE, when I retired, I still haven't won any titles here, of coarse you know I had the number 1 contendership clause after beating that psycho, Boogieman, so I went through your office for my contract, though you've already terminated it, I would like to discuss a...new contract with you, because you and I know that the crowds are bored to tears without seeing their favorite Superstar.
(the camera turns torwds the door as samoa joe walks in laughing)
.:Samoa Joe:.
“Well well if it isn't edge weren't you fired and i couldn't help over hearing your conversation and you said the crowd is bored to death without you
(laughs)
i think you meant with you here your washed up past your prime so why dont you get the hell out of this arena!”
***Edge looks at Joe and snickers***
.:Edge:.
Jesus, I thought you had to have at least some kind of fitness to wrestle...look here "Shamu" I wasn't fired, and i'm trying to save the WWE from pathetic wrestlers like you, trust me, nobody wants to see your man boobs flap around when you try lumber around the ring, so how about you go back into your locker room and dine on that family sized bucket of fried chicken, eh?
**The camera fades with Edge and Samoa Joe staring each other down**
*T-Mac’s music hits, and the only member of The New Corporation who hasn’t been seen already approaches the ring, and he is loving all the heat that the crowd are giving him – they can’t stand his arrogance!
Rey Mysterio’s music hits next, and the crowd are on their feet – they feel this guy was screwed out of his Commissioner’s role. Rey gets into the ring, and tonight’s Main Event gets underway with the traditional DING DING DING of the bell!*
They lock up, and T-Mac gets the aggressive upper hand, executing a headlock, and he uses his boot to the back of Rey’s knee to take Rey off his feet. Rey gets a scissor lock onto T-Mac’s head, and T-Mac flips up and the pair stare down. Neither men got the real upper hand there.
Rey hits a dropkick from standing there, and T-Mac is taken aback – literally. Rey is just smiling as T-Mac looks a little peeved that Rey caught him off guard there – the crowd are giving great “Rey Rey” chants! T-Mac tells them all to shut the hell up, which is met with a series of boos.
The pair begin trading a series of punches and kicks, and the brawl moves to the outside as they both go through the ropes and onto the floor. T-Mac isn’t happy that all his partners – ICP and V-Mac, lost their matches tonight! He is saying something to Rey to that effect too.
T-Mac throws Rey face-first into the steel steps, and then hits an apron-ram, crushing the former commissioner’s ribs. T-Mac rolls Rey back into the ring, but Rey hit an ankle sweep, and gets straight back to his feet – telling T-Mac to bring it! T-Mac runs towards Rey, but Rey attempts an armdrag. T-Mac is too heavy though, and he reverses it with an armdrag of his own. T-Mac follows this up with a legdrop, and has an armlock tied in. Rey is in pain, and T-Mac rolls over and goes for the cover….1…..2…kick out by Rey.
T-Mac is looking frustrated, and he picks Rey up and hits some STIFF kicks there, before hitting a back cracker! He goes for another cover, but Rey kicks out before the ref hits 2.
Rey hits a few punches when he is getting back up, and takes control. Rey whips T-Mac off the ropes, and drops him onto the second rope! He’s going for it! 619 connecting!
T-Mac is dazed, while Rey climbs to the top rope and uses it as a springboard, to get the West Coast Pop! But T-Mac caught him!!
T-Mac hits a powerbomb to reverse Rey’s attempts, and he stays in for the cover! The ref gets down, and T-Mac puts his feet on the ropes! 1…2…..3! That’s it! T-Mac picked up the win!
HERE IS YOUR WINNER: T-MAC
T-Mac gets straight out of the ring and back up the ramp, with his hand held high in victory! Rey looks pissed as the camera fades, and the pair are exchanging insults.
The camera fades and we see the DXX logo.
Written by: Mr. McMahon